It’s been a week since Jack decided he didn’t like his new schedule and was going to make up one of his own. Being the structured queen that I am, I have been so concerned when he hasn’t slept as long as he normally does or wants to eat before it’s time. This led to a lot of frustration, which I desperately have tried to hide from him. Who wants a tired and frustrated mommy?

It all started when I began to take the mini-pill. My supply drastically decreased, and Jack started getting fussy during feedings and wasn’t sleeping as well. He was still having enough wet diapers per day that I knew he was getting enough to eat, but I also realized this was seriously affecting my milk supply. So, I stopped taking it as soon as I noticed this was happening. It took about three days for my supply to recover, but thank goodness that it did! Then, I noticed something else that was strange. I couldn’t pump like I use to. What in the world was going on? I knew Jack was getting enough at feedings as he was no longer fussy and still had plenty of wet diapers, but I was only able to pump half as much as normal.

Well, last night, I managed to pump several times during the day just to get the 5.5 ounces for Jack’s bedtime bottle. Even though it took a lot of effort, I was relieved that I had managed to pump enough… or so I thought. The little man sucked his bottle completely dry! I couldn’t believe my eyes when Sean showed me the bottle. So, he now needs 6 ounces of milk for his bedtime feeding! WOW! What a growing boy he is!

This goes to show that when you breastfeed, you never know how much your baby is eating. You just know he is getting enough by counting wet diapers and having a content baby when feeding him. I had to start pumping Jack’s bedtime bottle after realizing that my milk supply diminishes as the day goes on, and that he needed a full tummy at night to sleep longer and be more content during the night.

What does this have to do with him getting off schedule and mommy being tired? I realized something very important today. This “schedule” is more or less a guideline to help Jack have a little bit of structure while providing mom with some predictability (helps when we are out and about during the day). But I didn’t have to panic that he wasn’t adhering to his usual schedule. His needs were changing. He was trying to tell me that he needed more milk, first of all. In order for a baby to increase mom’s milk supply, they have to nurse more often during the day, so the mother’s body knows to produce more milk. Part of the problem of me not being able to pump enough for him is that he wasn’t be allowed to nurse more often to increase my milk supply.

After realizing that, I have decided to put the book down and let Jack show me what he needs. I can still implement somewhat of a schedule with him, but he needs to be able to eat when he is hungry and sleep when he is sleepy. I don’t need to fight him to stay awake because a schedule tells me to. He was getting so irritable when he would get off his schedule that we were not able to really be gone for any period of time. I want him to be able to be more flexible and not be so unhappy the day after his schedule gets off course a little bit. I know he will be more flexible with age, but Sean and I would like to be able to take him to church for both Sunday School and worship service without worrying how bad the next day is going to be. On the contrary, we understand we cannot be out all day with him and expect him not to be fussy and a little overstimulated from all of the activities. So, we will still stick within his limitations - just not be as rigid with his schedule.

Schedules have a place, for sure. If I had two or more kids, I would most definitely rely on a schedule with my baby, so my other children could also get the attention they needed. But that’s not where I am. I am a stay-at-home mom with one child. So, I can be more flexible than some. So, enough with the frustration - I’m letting Jack drive the ship for a little while and show us what he needs. I think that in return, he will get all the milk his little heart desires and will sleep peacefully and much more soundly. I’ll let you know how it goes after a few days have passed. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to catching up on some much needed sleep!